you suck!
A friend of mine is a lot like Jesus. He tells people that they’re sinning bad and tells them to shape up. Like Jesus told the woman at the well, the tax collectors, all sorts of sick people to in a sick world to toughen up and right themselves.
But some people won’t talk to my friend any more. They call him judgemental. I tried to reason with him to be more compassionate, but i had to admit that even Jesus gave a lot of tough love.
A couple nights later a different friend of mine admitted to me he had sinned in a big way. I said I’d be over as soon as he had time. I texted him that night trying to encourage him and the next day asked him what he wanted me to bring him because i was buying dinner. I drove half an hour to his house and hugged him at the door.
As we ate at his table and bore each other’s burdens, i realized this, here, now, is a warranted time for tough love. So I told him, “you need to tell her you can’t talk to her anymore. Do it quickly and make it final.”
Jesus did tell people they were complete sinners, but i think what Jesus did more than judge them, was that he healed them first, and that is what made them listen. He gave the woman who was thirsty living water. He healed the leprous men. He gave the tax collector a new lot on life.
So if we plan on dishing out some tough love, and help a brother defeat a sin, we had better earn it first. We have to be there to heal them in whatever way we can. Cry with them. Give selflessly to them. nurture their pained heart. Give them water. And only when they are certain that we love them even in their sin, then we can help them eradicate it.